Make Mine a Mai Tai

Cut to Wednesday night when I was out in my black polka-dot thong with Cha-Cha and Rizzo at Topaz Bar on N Street. Cha-Cha and Rizz and I were at Vassar together years ago and let me tell you, these two ladies are a couple of hot tamales!

We were having a fabulous time being catty, catching up, and swilling plenty of dirty martinis and gibsons. I turned to go to the bar and asked the girls if they needed refills. Cha-Cha replied "Sure, but make mine a Mai Tai."

She had me at Mai Tai. I thought 'Who in 2006, besides blue haired, Botox-less geri's in Boca would order a Mai Tai??'

"Mai Tai?" I asked. "Yep," said Cha-Cha. In my obnoxious tipsy state, I raised both hands, leaned back, and joked "Why not just make it a pina colada?" I thought it odd that neither Rizz nor Cha-Cha laughed along with me; in fact, Cha-Cha just lowered her eyebrows at me, so I kept on my way to the bar.

I asked the bartender for two dirties and a Mai Tai with extra fruit garnish and chuckled silently at myself while I waited for the drinks. I paid for the drinks on my tab and walked back across the bar with two martinis and a pink drink ... "Martini for Rizzo and Mai Tai for Cha-Cha."

"What the hell is this?" asked Cha-Cha.

(Blank Sassy stare) "Your Mai Tai."

"HAHAHA. I didn't order a Mai Tai. I told you to put it on MY TAB. I was wondering why you said Pina Colada!" laughed Cha-Cha.

So you see, girls, Aunt Sassy's lesson of the day is that when you have one foot in your mouth and the other is knee deep in vodka and olive juice, it's best to just let someone else do the ordering.

Single Awareness Day!

So Happy Belated Valentine's Day to all of you! I am sitting here in my candy-striped V-string, working late into the night without a soul to bother me. A lot has happened in the past few weeks (including my successful completion of the ING Miami Marathon on 1/29 ... thanks to Asa and Chaz).

But isn't it amazing how the stars can align in just the right way one day and then dismally fail you the next? That's right, although he chugged along with me during the marathon, Chaz and I are dunzo.

Strangely enough, I felt like I had really lost a sense of myself during our relationship. I no longer enjoyed the same activities: I stopped blogging and I lost touch with many friends and acquaintances over the course of our 5-month tumble. It's heartbreaking to know that you once held yourself to such a high esteem and now your feelings don't matter to anyone; not even the only other person who is investing so much time into you.

During the past week though, I have had more than enough engagements to fill my dance card. How funny that although I closeted myself away with Chaz and felt an incomparable loneliness, as soon as I opened myself back up to the outside world people were knocking down my door to go out and reconnect with them. What a refreshing feeling knowing that I haven't lost the very things that make me so Sassy.

For Valentine's Day, I was invited out by 4 people ... but a good book, full glass of wine, and a completely quiet night to myself??? Yes, PLEASE!